I first started thinking about children at primary school; not having them just naming them. I would have a boy called Daniel and a girl called Deborah Lianne - no idea why I chose those names. I thought it would be cool having children to push in their prams. Obviously, I didn't realise the full implications of having children at such a young age. I just saw the nice bits - naming them, pushing them in their prams and cuddling them. As you all know, this is only about 1% of parenting probably not even that. Parenting is the hardest job in the world but I wouldn't be aware of that until I had my own children. I thought about having children properly when I was 26. Some friends had been saying to me and my husband that ‘we were getting on a bit' - cheeky beggars. We weren't that old ffs. We'd been married two years and I'd always wanted kids, luckily my husband wanted kids too. I'd planned that I'd have a boy and a girl. Yes I know you're supposed to be happy with what you get but if I could've had a choice I'd have had one of each. I wanted a girl so we could do girlie things, make-up, dressing-up etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with my boys. If you could've guaranteed that I'd have a girl then I'd have gone ahead. I don't think it's wrong at all saying what you'd like. Life before children wasn't perfect. However, I wish I'd taken the time to enjoy it more. I think everyone before starting a family should do lots of research about what it's like being a parent as nothing really prepares you for life as a parent. Yes, I was told the birth would be a bit painful and that there would be sleepless nights but there's so much more. My mum gave me two bits of really good advice. She said the birth can be excruciatingly painful but it only lasts whilst you're giving birth and in the grand scheme of things that really isn't long and for all that pain you get a beautiful baby which will make all the pain worthwhile and you will forget about the pain. In other words, a good pain with a worthwhile reward. The other thing mum said was, well she didn't actually say it to me she said it to my husband. When baby is born and you go to visit pay lots of attention to Rhonda, in fact go overboard and make her the centre of attention and not the baby. This confused my husband. Mum said some mums get post-natal depression and whilst it's not proven she firmly believed that this was because mums get all the attention when they are pregnant and then when baby is born baby gets all the attention. All I can say is my husband followed my mum's advice and I didn't get post-natal depression. My eldest was born when I was 26. He was very big 10.5lb; we have big babies in my family. One of my nanna's children was 14lb back in the days of home deliveries. My eldest son was a shock to the system. I'd read all the books and listened to advice but it's totally different when baby is here. In hospital, it was quite easy as nurses were there to help especially first-time mums. I remember coming home and my husband took paternity leave. That time wasn't too bad either as there were two of us. The day he went back to work I kept thinking I'll be fine I'll be fine. There's milk made up in the fridge, I know what I'm doing, everything will be fine. My son woke up and I went to get him out of his cot, brought him downstairs and changed him. Then I started panicking. I had to heat the milk whilst he was crying but I only had one pair of hands. How was I going to do this? I figured I couldn't so I phoned a relative. She came round, took baby off me and held him whilst boiling the kettle and then heating the milk making it look so easy. Now why couldn't I do that? Oh yeah because my brain wasn't fully functioning yet after the birth. It takes time for brain function to return to normal; that's if it ever does. My eldest truly was a bundle of joy but everything was so new and I couldn't get my brain around things and dads aren't always much help. My second son was born when I was 32 and I felt much more prepared, even though there was a large gap this was my second baby. Second time around is a lot easier. I already knew how to hold a baby and warm milk and knew about routines. This time I didn't panic when husband went back to work. My first-born really stepped into his role as big brother, helping with feeding and cuddles. He couldn't do enough for his brother. When they were both babies I had serious sleep deprivation as did the neighbours; they even reported me to my health visitor as my first-born was keeping them awake. Welcome to the world of parenting is pretty much what my health visitor told them. Going out with one child is hard enough but two or more can be a lot harder. We would go out to eat occasionally and get parenting advice from people objecting to our kids' noise and not sitting down nicely eating. Supermarket shopping isn't always easy - toddler tantrums - anyone with kids knows where I'm coming from here. With babies and toddlers all you really do is feeding, changing, cuddling and playing. Sounds easy enough but when you've had little to no sleep and baby cries and cries life can become overwhelming very quickly especially with your first. Factor in on top of that you've to try and keep the house clean and tidy, do the shopping and usual household chores, life quickly becomes challenging - unless you're supermum and most of us aren't so don't beat yourselves up. Like most mums I'm no supermum and far from perfect. I soon learned that routine is key and you crave adult conversations. My health visitor gave me three pieces of good advice - listen to the advice of others and then do what you think is best, if you think there's something wrong with your child trust your instincts as mum knows best and if the house is a mess so what as there's always tomorrow. Just concentrate on looking after baby and yourself and everything else can do one, there's always takeaways. Before children, I didn't realise how rich I was; having kids meant I was permanently broke. Friends became friends with kids; still had friends without kids but didn't see them as often. Nights out? I didn't know what they were after my boys came along. I slept when they slept, quickly in and out of the shower unlike my 30-minute soak in the bath before kids and as for going to the toilet, they'd usually end up wandering in after me. When you're a mum there's not much time for anything else. Stair gates and safety locks soon became the norm. Even the tv had to go on a shelf; my boys were into everything. It didn't look like my house any more; it resembled a nursery. You get used to it. To be fair it was all good fun except for the endless crying. That's hard to take after no sleep when you're the only one in the house. Stepping out of the room and counting to 10 or maybe 100 helps and again you get used to it and things settle down once a routine has kicked in. Before you know it, they're at school and you regain some of your life. Enjoy them whilst they're so young. Life changes so quickly. The Teenage years Overnight your sweet child turns into a moody teenager. How did that happen? Their bedrooms turn into rubbish dumps; plates, food, clothes everywhere. You try and have a conversation and are met with grunts or just ignored because their hormones are raging all over the place. They want designer clothes to keep up with the kids at school; if they're wearing the wrong trainers then there's big trouble. If one gets a computer they can't share so they both want a computer. You won't be acknowledged in public and certainly not introduced as their mum. They certainly don't want to go out with you or on holiday with you. Their friends are the most important people in their lives. I think like a lot of parents I took the opportunity for payback. Embarrassing your kids in public becomes a hobby for some parents. I can only speak for boys. Schooling has its fair share of challenges. Being called into school to discuss your angelic child's behaviour. Surely not, my child is an angel at home; well he isn't at school! He's disruptive, won't pay attention, misbehaves at every opportunity. Hmm really? You can either believe the school 100%, disbelieve the school 100% or take a 50/50 view like I did. You can ask your child if they did x, y and z but they might lie - they are good at persuading you that they've done nothing wrong. Bullying - is your child a bully or are they being bullied? Very difficult if the school won't do anything. I'd suggest speaking to the school in the first place, if no joy drastic action might be required - changing schools or homeschooling. When they are little and you let them go out to play, probably next door, you tell them what time to be home and they are but in any event, you know where they are. When they're at high school, they don't want to tell you where they're going and certainly don't want a time to be home. The amount of nights I've worried about where mine are when they are late home. To be fair, it probably wasn't that many nights but worry makes you think otherwise. Dads don't seem to worry as much as mums why is that? Then the issues of drinking, drugs and dating - minefields. Drinking depends on your view of them drinking and their age. Similarly, with drugs. Teenagers want to try everything and think they are the first. Well think again - your parents have usually tried it all first. Dating - are you going to be the parent that vets the girlfriend/boyfriend or let them get on with it? I think I took a middle ground with everything. Now if all this is putting you off being a parent, there are plenty of highs too. First steps, first words, first anything - even the first time they don't follow you to the loo. These are really proud parenting moments. My child's first word was ‘mummy', my child won a race at sports day, my child came top of the class, my child was awarded star of the week. These are endless highs. Going to see them in their school nativities, school sports days. Now I've only mentioned a few highs but trust me the highs do outweigh the lows as the highs are big things. My boys are both adults now and there are still highs and lows. Your job as a parent never ends. Being a parent is forever, and when they're very young it's 24/7. Parenting is not like on tv; every child is different. From my experience, the eldest one is practical and never a problem; the youngest is rebellious and always a problem. I was the eldest so not sure that works. Walking around with sick-stained clothes on, hair a mess, looking like I hadn't slept for a month, driving kids to school in PJs, taking homework/pe kit to school when they've forgotten it, arguments, tears and the rest - the real truth of life with kids. Before having children, you can't imagine that this is what life with kids is like. Life is far better with kids but very very different. Life will never be the same! I'm looking forward to being a grandma so I can spoil them rotten and them hand them back. I swear when I was a child I was nothing like my children but my mum would probably beg to differ. I was a model child up until 12 except that I broke the toilet (don't ask) and I always kept everyone waiting doing my hair. I will admit to being a rebellious teenager and pushing the boundaries. Yeah, I probably have got mini me's. If only babies were born with a manual - now that would be handy! Now that my boys are grown-up, they say I only had one fault as a mum - that I cared too much and still do. Well if that's their only complaint then I don't think I've done too bad. As parents, we don't always have all the answers - we try our best, do what we think is best at any given time and most of the time we just muddle through as best we can.